Do not seek the because – in love there is no because, no reason, no explanation, no solutions.
If you are still reading, then you must doubt something of what she is saying. You must believe there is not only a why, but a how. You must have personified love with all the frailness of human understanding. Love is more than this.
We all struggle to know its secret innerworkings. Nevertheless, love simply is. With all due depth and clarity, love simply is. The ultimate answer to the infinite mystery is that love simply is. And what this means is beyond human understanding. Except in those small glimpses we each get. Those times when, voluntarily or not, we meet life up close and with all our fullness. Then we know love, in all its beauty and terror.
When this simple idea (that love is) is not enough for us, when we strive to dissect it further, to name it, label it, categorize it, these are the causes of much suffering. Despite what all the ascended masters tell us, despite what we say in our best hours, despite what your guru teaches and even what Bryan Ferry sings, we believe love is more than this.
But what more can there be than what is?
This conundrum, this insatiable need for something more than everything, takes up most of human existence. This irrational need turns the conversation toward something that distracts us from the real, the primary, the immediate, the sensual flooding of the spiritual gates.
I suppose it is this mystery within a mystery that leads us to think love can be planned, calendared, defined, or plotted on a graph by human hearts and minds. Trust me, this could never be — though I doubt we will ever stop trying. And that, too, is part of love’s gift.
All my life, my heart has yearned for a thing I cannot name.
Love is not subject to our unwittingly small designs, our persistent needs for order, for instant gratification, our stubborn insistence on going in the wrong direction, our misdirected desires, our dearest fears. Love’s sight is longer than you may see in a thousand lifetimes. Its wisdom is deeper than a thousand voyages into space. Its compassion is fuller than all the water balloons of all the childhoods of history’s memory.
Love is by design. Despite your mistaken beliefs in its timing, its accuracy, its best intentions. Like petals from a faded rose, you must learn to let all of these things go. Sit back and be still. Love knows the way.
Next time you think, oh, that one was such a mistake, know that you’re wrong. Love doesn’t make mistakes. Love’s intelligence is infinite.
Love is always in alignment. Love is always in synch. Love is always on its game and in the flow. Unlike you and I, love does not need to trip, to stumble, to fall, in order to learn about cracks in the sidewalk, balance, gravity. Love is gravity. Love is the crack in the sidewalk.
I think there is no unreturn’d love, the pay is certain one way or another.
© 2012, 2013 Thomas Lloyd Qualls, all rights reserved.
*also published in Reno Tahoe Tonight Magazine.